I thought to myself: "Sh*t Alison, you need to get a boyfriend."
This immediately filled me with dread and made me want to crawl up into a ball and hide. How, just how, do you tell a new love interest that you have MS?!
I've heard fairy tales and horror stories alike on this subject. Some people have found the love of their life who says "MS doesn't matter"... and then there was the woman who told me that, on her second date with a new guy, she decided to tell him about her MS diagnosis. And, he was SO angry that she hadn't IMMEDIATELY told him that he walked out on her in the restaurant, stuck her with the bill and never spoke to her again.
Earlier this year, I was casually seeing a guy and when I told him about my MS diagnosis, he ran away faster than an old horse with a glue truck behind him. I'm scared to try again because that experience made me pretty bitter about the whole human race for a while.
Anyway, as usual, I decided to do some research and found an article about this very subject. I'll spare you the article; just the same old stuff from someone who doesn't actually have MS. But, I did want to include some of the reader comments from real people with this disease:
"I'd say tell him right off the bat. If it's a problem for him, then you're lucky you told him when you did. If he can't deal with MS, imagine how he/she would deal with even bigger issues?"
Paul S.
"I met someone online, well....I didn't actually ever meet him. The night before we were supposed to meet for dinner, I told him about my ms. Funny thing happened...he called me the next morning and said "something came up" and he had to cancel our dinner. Next time, I will meet the person first, so they can see I'm an actual human being!" Laura C.
"I met my gal who has MS about 6 years ago on the Internet. What caught my eye in her profile was a statement..."I have MS but MS doesn't have me" and that pretty much described her attitude about the whole thing. What eventually captured my heart was her spunk about it...an unwillingness to allow MS to keep her from enjoying life." Rag S.
"I'm 23 and I was diagnosed 11 years ago. Dating has been hard, I'm a private person and I don't share the fact that I have MS with too many people. I agree it is best to disclose it as soon as you can, I usually end up doing it on the first "real" date with someone. Lately guys have been acting like they understand or it really doesn't bother them but I learn otherwise when an attack comes along. sigh. I KNOW there are great guys out there that will praise me for what I've been through, I just can't wait to find them!" Britney
Well, there you go, straight from people like us. I guess I'll just keep on keeping on then... Any advice or stories readers?
2 comments:
The comment from Paul S. says it all. I hope more men will send in their comments. Again, your pictures make me howl.
Yes, the pictures on this post made me howl with laughter - I had to use them! Those cats are so adorable!
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