Free As A Bird

I publish on this blog every few days or so and when I post something, I feel relieved from MS-related stress for a while.  Then I eventually feel the need to "talk" to you again and discuss this thing in all of it's intricacies.  It really helps me and I hope that it helps a lot of you out there too.

Anyway, I have a zillion topics running around my brain at any given time and I was thinking about investigating and writing about why MS makes me so dizzy.  It's really annoying - can anyone relate?  I was mulling over where I could find information on this topic when I thought: "wow, it's been four months (and 9 days) since my diagnosis" and look at how much my life has changed.  Look at how much the lives of my close family and friends have changed.

It's incredible to me that we can just go on when something terrible happens. That we can find the strength from somewhere inside of us that we didn't even know existed.

I have been crying a lot lately.  Not necessarily due to sadness; I almost feel as if the old Alison is a memory and now I'm this new person.  It happened so fast and some would call it "growing up" I guess.  I'm sure we all have times in our lives when something happens to shock you out of your present reality and throw you kicking and screaming into a new one.

My point is (yes, there's a point in here somewhere), we seem to be equipped with some instinctual ability to just get over it; whatever it may be.  My answer to those who ask where you get the strength to deal with things is: what else are you going to do?  You get what you get, someone is always going to have it better or worse than you but, we all have to deal with something.  If we all gave up when something knocked us down, there would be no one left in this world.

Thinking about all of this brought to mind an email forward that my father recently sent to me about eagles (not the band; the birds).  I'll post it for you below...

THE EAGLE HAS THE LONGEST LIFE-SPAN AMONG BIRDS.  IT CAN LIVE UP TO 70 YEARS BUT, TO REACH THIS AGE, THE EAGLE MUST MAKE A DIFFICULT DECISION.

IN ITS' 40's, ITS' LONG AND FLEXIBLE TALONS CAN NO LONGER GRAB PREY.  ITS' SHARP BEAK BECOMES BENT.  ITS' OLD-AGED AND HEAVY WINGS, DUE TO THEIR THICK FEATHERS, BECOME STUCK TO ITS' CHEST AND MAKE IT DIFFICULT TO FLY.

THEN, THE EAGLE IS LEFT WITH ONLY TWO OPTIONS:  DIE OR GO THROUGH A PAINFUL PROCESS OF CHANGE WHICH LASTS 150 DAYS.

THIS PROCESS REQUIRES THAT THE EAGLE FLY TO A MOUNTAIN TOP AND SIT ON ITS' NEST.  THERE THE EAGLE KNOCKS ITS' BEAK AGAINST A ROCK UNTIL IT CAN BE PLUCKED OUT.  AFTER REMOVING ITS' BEAK, IT WILL WAIT FOR A NEW ONE TO GROW AND WILL THEN PLUCK OUT ITS' TALONS.

WHEN ITS' NEW TALONS GROW BACK, THE EAGLE STARTS PULLING OUT ITS' OLD-AGED FEATHERS AND WAITS FOR NEW ONES TO GROW IN THEIR PLACE.

AFTER FIVE MONTHS, THE EAGLE TAKES ITS' FAMOUS FLIGHT OF REBIRTH AND LIVES FOR 30 MORE YEARS.

WHEN IT RAINS, MOST BIRDS HEAD FOR SHELTER.  THE EAGLE IS THE ONLY BIRD THAT, IN ORDER TO AVOID THE RAIN, STARTS FLYING ABOVE THE CLOUDS...

Upon further investigation, I can tell you that regrettably, this tale is just that, a tale. Eagles live to be about 30 years old in the wild and do not choose whether to live or die.  But...this is a beautiful fairy tale about rebirth and renewal and you know what?  Humans actually can decide whether to go on or not, to live or to die, to fight or give in.

I'm not recommending that you pull out your hair or yank out your nails but, other than that, let's choose to be like the eagle in this story shall we?